


Back To You

by theonsmedici



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2019-12-07 19:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18239357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theonsmedici/pseuds/theonsmedici
Summary: It had been a week since Liberty High's spring fling and since Tyler Down attempted to shoot down everyone at it. It had been a week since Jessica Davis had allowed her ex to touch her in a way she hadn't been touched in over a year. She doesn't know how she's going to tell Alex, or even look Justin in the eyes after the moment they shared. But she knew she had to at some point. Specially when other figures lurk in the shadows ready to pounce at any moment.





	1. Chapter 1

The smell of his cologne still lingered on the dress she had worn that night as she finally takes it to the dry cleaners a week after the Spring Fling. She would have already had it in, and cleaned by now, but the moment she smelled that musky cologne that was hanging onto the fabric, she needed a few days to part with it.

She now sat in her bedroom, looking at her body in the full-length mirror that was on the back of her closet door. Of course, she had her clothes on. But she had her shirt lifted just that slightest bit to see the bruises that laid against her hipbones, where Justin's hands had been gripping on just a little too light as their bodies moved together, not wanting to create too much noise and attract anyone to the locker room where they were.

Today was the day that she would be returning to the halls of Liberty after the small week break, they took because of the near school shooting. Her parents believed she was shaking up over the fact that she could have died- but that wasn't it. As scary as that thought was, she was more scared about having to face Alex again, and Justin.

She knew she had to tell Alex. It wasn't fair to him or to herself to continue this relationship knowing that her mind would always be going back to the 5'10 boy with the big blue eyes and the tattoos that covered his chest and arms.

She had to tell him the truth.

 

Her father, Greg, had insisted upon taking her in that day. After an hour of arguing that she could drive herself and she'd be fine, he still was sitting in the driver's side of the car that morning when she walked out.

"I could have drove myself, you know. I have a pair of legs, and a licence."

They now sat in the parking lot of Liberty High, the past few moments they've both stayed silent, very much like they had the whole drive there. It was clear that Greg Davis did not want his daughter returning to this school.

"I didn't want you coming here at all, so driving you here and back it is."

His eyes never once left from facing the front, watching all the students who were walking past and way too enthusiastic about returning to a school that was so messed up.

Not bothering to reply to him, knowing that she wasn't going to win this argument against him, and once Greg Davis had decided something, it was final, Jessica climbs out of the car, tugging her bag along with her.

She shut the door with a mutter of a goodbye, her chocolate eyes landing on the building in front of her.

Welcome back to hell Jessica, this time, you won't enjoy it.

 

The halls were filled by students catching up with their friends, the opening and slamming of the cold metal lockers that had laid abandoned for just over a week now. All of these sounds echoed around her, and caused her heart to race faster and the reality to set in.

Alex or Justin could be around the corner, or just down the hallway and she hadn't planned what she was going to say to either of them.

Jessica had never been someone to hide from people. Apart from the times she was dating Alex the first time around and they decided it would be the best idea to hide their romance from Hannah, who was their closest friend of the time. And of course, that came back and bit them in the ass when she saw the two of them together on a date. And it all went downhill from there.

She expected this whole thing to go down the exact same way. Maybe even faster.

 

She always hated English class with Mr Smith. He had to be the most boring teacher that she's had in all the school's that she's been in over the years. He talked way too slow, almost to the point of putting you to sleep, and he had a massive coffee breath that just made you gag, and your nose turn up when he came near you.

She thinks he knew about it and did it on purpose.

As Mr Smith droned on and on about some book, he was going to have them read, Jessica doodles on her arm, making a small figure of eight just where her veins went down.

That's when the smell hit her, almost like Mr Smith's coffee breath hit her just 10 minutes ago when the class first started.

It wasn't his old smell, of weed and some cheap cologne that Bryce had been able to pass off to him as "the one that my mom accidentally bought me but I don't like."

This was... different.

It smelled like a nicer cologne. Not so strong and not like he had taken a bath in it. He also smelled like... actual shampoo. Like strawberry's or something like that and she knew that he had to have accidentally used Lainie's or, he just really liked strawberry shampoo.

The chair that was beside her, the only empty one in the whole room, scratched against the floor as he pulls it out, bag dropping down onto the floor in her eye line.

Justin was sat right beside her, and she was too afraid to lift her head.

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica looks back on the night she had with a different Justin than the one she knew before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning.  
> This chapter has a small amount of sexual content, and explores a little into Jessica's rape and a slight panic attack, but not in too much detail.  
> If you don't think you could read this, it makes you uncomfortable etc... please feel free to skip this chapter.

Jessica's head doesn't lift from looking at the doodles on her notebook for the next five minutes. She could still smell the cologne that he was wearing, and the strawberry shampoo that he must have washed his hair with that morning. The strawberry shampoo that was sending shivers right down her spine.

"Miss Davis. Maybe you can come to the front of the room and teach the class since you seem so disinterested in everything that I have to say." 

Everyone's eyes were now on her- including his. All those eyes staring deep into her soul, and she was sure that she heard a few chuckles coming from the other side of the classroom. But Jessica was more focused on the ice blue eyes that were currently burning into the side of her head. 

She knew it was him. She didn't even need to look and check to see if he had that smug smile plastered across his face, probably trying to hold in his laughter at the same time.

And by the sounds of it, he was failing.

With flushed cheeks, Jessica's head finally lifts to look at Mr Smith, standing at the front of the room with his arms crossed over his chest, eyebrow raised. She gives him an awkward smile as she ducks her head back down in embarrassment.

"Sorry sir... It won't happen again."

Giving her just a huff, Mr Smith turns back to the front and continues to teach the class, and Jessica can't help but sigh with relief that the embarrassment was over.

Until she heard the little snort coming from her right, causing her eyes to narrow, head snapping to the side to look at Justin, who of course, had the big smug look across his face.

"Something to say?" She hisses through her clenched teeth.

"Nothing at all. Just wondering where the fire and the spark went from the other night. I mean, blushing? You haven't done that since the first time I went down on you."

He kept his voice down, not wanting other people in the class to hear what he was saying to her.

Gasping in shock of what he had the nerve to bring up, Jessica couldn't help but blush some more at the thought of it.

"Fuck you."

"You did. The other night. Remember?"

Of course, she remembered. How could she forget it?

 

** _Night of the Spring Fling_ **

_Her dress opened to show the matching plum coloured set that was underneath covering her skin, the tension in the air building between them as the moment got more intense. They both knew what they wanted and were about to do. And she wasn't going to stop it._

_Justin's mouth dropped open in shock of what he was seeing, or more like what she was allowing him to see again after almost 7 months apart._

_"J_ _esus Jess, you're so beautiful."_

_She never responded to him, not wanting to break the confidence that she had. She just swung her legs over his lap, settling herself down on top of him. His hands disappear underneath the fabric and onto her smooth thighs, the coldness of them causing her to jump a little._

_Her hands rest against his shoulders, watching as his lips press against her flat stomach, slowly moving themselves up between her breasts and back to her lips once again. Her whole body relaxes into his touch, his hands sliding all over her skin underneath her dress and eventually making it to her ass, giving a little playful squeeze like he always used to do._

_Jessica's arms move to slide her dress off her shoulders, hearing the material gently hitting against the floor at her feet. She now was on top of him, in the thin material of her panties and bra. And the panic was starting to set in, but she ignored it, pushing it down._

_Justin's hands were in her curls, messing the hair that took her an hour to do up, and she wasn't bothered one little bit._

_She had missed this. Being with him and being the sex addicts that they were before._

_But the more she thought about the way they were headed, the more she started to panic, and all she could feel... was Bryce Walker's hands moving all over her skin, his lips against her neck, and currently... his fingers that were playing with the waistband of her underwear._

_"_ _J-Justin wait!" She cries, instantly the male retracting from her and his softened eyes looking at her in panic. He knew that he had done something wrong, and that she was not liking it._

 _"_ _Are you okay?"_

_Jessica just moves from sitting on his lap, her heels clicking against the floor once again as she paces back and forth. Justin doesn't dare to move towards her, staying on the bench with his hands in his lap._

_"I_ _really- I want to. I want to have sex with you, here. Tonight. But every time you touch me- All I feel is him. And- And my heart starts to race. And I start to sweat- and then the tears come and-"_

_Cutting her off as he stands, his hands reaching out and gently taking her hands into his, thumbs rubbing against the back of her knuckles in a way of trying to sooth her and stop her little panic._

_"_ _Deep breaths, Jess... It's okay. I understand."_

_Following his slow breathing, her heart rate begins to slow, or at least go down to a not so alarming rate. Her hands relax in his, slowly lacing their fingers together as she moves to rest herself against his chest, resting her head against his shoulder. She slightly had to bend to reach it, since she was still wearing her heels._

_"_ _I just want to not feel his touch anymore... I'd do anything to not feel it anymore."_

_Both stand in silence, slowly swaying back and forth to the soft music that was playing outside in the gym where the dance was still going on. But all that mattered in that moment, was the two of them._

_"_ _I could try..."_

_His voice breaks her out of her thoughts, her head snapping up to look at him with frowned eyebrows and a confused expression._

_"_ _What are you talking about?"_

 _"i_ _could try and make his touch go away... replace it with mine."_

_The idea sounded ridiculous at first. How was he possibly going to replace the feeling of Bryce against her skin with himself? But the more she thought of it... The more she wanted to give it a try. Anything to have the possibility of not feeling Bryce against her anymore or standing in the shower and having to scrub at her skin for 20 minutes straight until it was red raw._

_Jessica couldn't find her voice, finding her response to just be a nod of her head. Her feet slowly move as Justin guides her backwards, in the direction of where the mats were laid out from the wrestling team and uses his soft hands to guide her to lay down on top of them._

_"_ _I think you should undress as well..." Her voice was quiet, almost shy, bringing one hand up as she bites down onto her thumb and gives a little giggle at the cheeky grin that he sent back in her direction._

 _"_ _As you wish." Justin comments, before proceeding to do it slowly. First comes off the tie, that he has a bit of a wrestle with before deciding to just tug it over his head, then his shirt, and lastly his pants._

_His naked chest with that tattoo written across it was never going to be a sight that she would get bored of seeing. She never thought that tattoos would be something she was attracted to, until she met Justin._

_The boy then comes over the top of her, slowly and making sure that she could see it was him, and not anyone else, his hands sliding up her smooth legs with his lips following behind._

_Justin proceeds to kiss all over her body, paying special attention to the places she told him she felt Bryce's touch the most, and by the end of that, she couldn't feel it._

_Or she could, but it was masked and covered by the touch of Justin._

_She willingly let him have her after that, and it had to have been the slowest, most passionate sex that the two have ever had. Justin was focused on her the entire time, not caring for his own pleasure and only for making her feel good. She had never heard someone ask, "is this still okay?" so many times._

_It was a night to remember. Something she'd always be thankful for._

 

But as she looked at him now, she wondered where that soft and gentle Justin had disappeared to, and if he was going to make another appearance again.

She really liked that Justin.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for already over 100 hits! All the comments really mean a lot to me. I wont be able to post chapter three till next weekend, as I have a presentation and a mock exam before I break off for spring break. But after that, I can update probably twice a week if I have the inspiration! I wrote Jessica freaking about having sex with Justin again because I felt it was really important, and I hope the show cover on it during season 3. Hope you all enjoy this longer chapter!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica sits through an awkward lunch with Justin and Alex and remembers something she hopes Justin never finds out.

It had to have been the most awkward Jessica had ever felt.

Sitting in the cafeteria, Justin sat right across from her and Alex sat on her right, she had never felt more locked in. She hardly felt like she could breathe because she felt like at any second, she could end up revealing what her and Justin had done, in front of all their friends.

She wasn't ready for that. She wasn't ready to have her friends turn against her for hurting Alex, to have Zach specifically hating her and Clay's judgemental and disappointed eyes on her. She wanted to keep them all as a group with no drama, even just for a little bit longer.

She could hear Alex talking to Zach across the table, Clay chatting along happily to Sheri about the new comic that he had gotten and how she had to give it a read- because it has more of the sexy robots in it. But her and Justin sat in complete silence, staring across the table at one another, waiting for one of them to make the first move to speak.

“You going to finish those fries?”

Alex’s voice breaks her out of her thoughts, her head snapping to the side to give him a look of confusion before it registers what he had asked her. She pushes the tray towards him, watching him happily tucking into the salty snack, abandoning the salad that his mom had made for him that day.

She watches him, her hand reaching out to run through his slightly longer hair, still in its natural brunette colour. She liked the natural hair a lot more than she liked his blonde hair, or whatever colour Alex decided to dye it that month.

How could she have hurt him? How could she not love him more than she loved Justin?

“Alex was telling us how you weren’t feeling well last week. That’s why you never came over to Clay’s place when we called for our meeting about… You know who.” Zach comments, munching down on a slice of pizza, that looked more like rubber than actual food.

She froze up for a second, caught off guard that he was actually quizzing her about this. Now she couldn’t remember what illness she exactly told Alex that she had. Because it had been a complete lie. Of course, she wasn’t sick, she just didn’t want to face Justin and see the smug look on his face. Or look at Alex and go home hating herself even more for being too much of a coward to tell him the truth.

“Uh… yeah. I had- cramps. You know, girl problems. I knew I would just be in pain and complain a lot to you guys if I came over so… decided it was better to stay at home.”

They all just nod their heads, muttering in agreement because they were thankful, because she had spared them from hearing her snap at them just for breathing too heavily.

“You must have been in a lot of pain. Specially around…your hip area, right?” Justin looks right at her, little sparkle in his bright blue eyes. The corner of his lips tug into a little smirk, but only she notices it.

She nearly chokes on the water she was sipping on, because she knew exactly what he was hinting at. The bruises in the shapes of his fingers that he had left on her hip bones, that were still faintly there right at this minute.

“W-What?”

“Your hips. You always get pain in them when you get your period. I remember.”

She felt her whole body relax, shoulder’s slouching out of relief that he had managed to play it off, and well. Because it was true. She did get pains in her hips when she got her period, only… the pain she had in her hips then weren’t from her period.

And Justin knew that.

 

She was basically watching her phone like a clock, and it was ridiculously going slow. Jessica had never been more excited to get to her psychology class in all the year she had been taking it.

She just needed to get away from Justin, at least for the rest of the day.

“Have you heard from your mom yet?”

Zach’s voice was quiet, leaning across the table towards Justin so that no one else really heard apart from him. She could tell that it was a private conversation, one she shouldn’t be listening into, but she couldn’t help but grow interest at the mention of Amber not being around.

Why hadn’t Justin told her?

“No… Um- I tried calling her, but she must have cut her phone off again. Probably to save money… Or because she’s no money. One of the two.”

The talk of Amber caused a shiver to go down Jessica’s spine, because she remembered the last time that she had spoken to Amber.

 

_The local grocery store wasn’t far from Jessica’s house, and the need for some spicy noodles was something that she couldn’t ignore any longer. So she set out, and now was looking through the aisles for the very snack she came for._

_She was crouched down, pulling multiple packets of noodles from the bottom shelf and into her arms when she heard the voice of the woman, she hadn’t seen in almost 3 months._

_Amber Foley._

_“Oh, fuck off Eric. I’m not a donkey! I’m not carrying all those boxes to the warehouse because you’re too much of a lazy cun-“_

_“Hi Miss Foley.”_

_Jessica cut the woman short, watching as the much smaller brunette turned to look at her, shock covering her face. She pulled the pen from between her teeth, mouth open._

_“J-Jessica… Hi.”_

_The two stood awkward for a minute, not knowing what to say to the other. They had never really had a conversation, only a small hi in the passing or a scowl._

_“How are you?” They ask at the same time, smiles breaking out of their faces once they realised what they had done._

_“I’m- doing okay…”_

_“Wish I could relate. I’m here acting like a slave for 12 hours a day just to make the shittiest wage.” Amber blows her unbrushed hair from her face, shifting between her two feet._

_Nodding her head, Jessica looks down at the ground before back up at the woman._

_“Are you… still with-“_

_“Seth? Unfortunately. Fucking asshole.”_

_Jessica wonders why she doesn’t just leave him if she hates him so much, but perhaps she really did need the money he was bringing in from all his drug deals._

_“Amber I told you-“_

_Jessica looked over her shoulder to see the short, dumpy bald man peaking his head round to look at them, clearly not amused by how Amber was slacking off._

_“Give me a fucking minute Eric!! Jesus, get out my ass wont you?!”_

_Amber rolls her eyes, huffing as she picks up one of the boxes that had been left in the aisle. She gives Jessica a look._

_“If you hang around, I get off for break in 5. I’ll meet you out front.”_

_Not having the time to answer, Amber turns on her heels, walking towards the man with a scowl on her face._

_“You are the reason I drink.”_

_Jessica had kept her promise and had waited out the front once she had paid for her noodles and bought each of her brothers an action figure. Just a few minutes after Amber said she’d be there, she turns up, joint hanging from between her lips._

_“I was wondering if you’d be here or make a run for it.”_

_The middle-aged woman lights up the joint, taking a puff from it before letting it go into her lungs, blowing out the smoke before offering it out to Jessica. Jessica just shakes her head._

_“I debated on it.”_

_The chuckle comes from beside her, both the females leaning back against the brick wall as they watched the people walking past. Many people making faces at Amber, but she didn’t seem to bother._

_“You heard from him?”_

_Jessica was almost shocked that the question came from her, looking at Amber in shock as she opens and closes her mouth like a fish, unsure of what to say to her._

_“What? You think I don’t know he’d speak to you over everyone? Please. I’m like, the last person he’d call or send anything to. You? He is fucking obsessed with you.”_

_Jessica glances down, cheeks heating up in a blush without being able to control it._

_“N-No… haven’t heard from him. He’s probably avoiding me as well.”_

_“That makes two of us then. Little shit probably knows I’ll find him and kill him. He’s got me down a thousand dollars.” Amber scoffs, shaking her head in disbelief. “I mean- where the fuck am, I getting money like that? I barely make that in a few months.”_

_“Wait- how has he got you down a thousand dollars?” Jessica asks, turning to face the woman._

_“He stole from Seth before he left. Now Seth’s making me pay it back, or he’ll kill me. Literally told me that. Saw it in his eyes, fucker wasn’t joking.”_

_Jessica could hear the little shake in Amber’s voice. Fear. Jessica was familiar with that feeling now as well._

_“How long do you have to pay it back?”_

_“3 days.”_

_“How much… have you paid already?”_

_“$20.”_

_Fuck._

_Amber finishes off the joint, dropping it onto the ground without a care and stomping it out with her foot while she blows the smoke out from between her lips._

_“Oh well. Not like anyone would miss me. I better get back in there- before Eric comes out and chews my ass again. See you later, Jessica.”_

_She was back inside the store before Jessica even had the chance to say goodbye back._

_Jessica remembered how she sat at home for the next two days, debating or more like arguing with herself on what to do. She always remembered Justin told her to not get involved with his family’s shit. But Justin wasn’t here anymore, and Amber needed the help. What if Seth did end up killing her and Justin came home to a dead mother and became an orphan? She could never forgive herself._

_She couldn’t have another death sit on her shoulders. Not like Hannah’s._

_She remembered driving to the bank first, she remembered she had to use her three different credit cards to get a whole $1000. She remembered putting it in an envelope, writing out a little letter while she sat in the dark, in her car. She remembered climbing out the car at the apartment she hadn’t been at in so long and leaving it underneath the plant pot outside. Amber would have to look under there for her keys anyway. She remembers quickly leaving before anyone had the chance to catch her, and she remembered seeing Amber weeks later. And the woman gave a nod in her direction: a thank you._

_She just hoped she kept the promise she had written on the letter._

**_Don’t tell Justin._ **

 

 

“Jessica. Are you listening?”

She was broke out her memory, looking up at Zach who was giving her a weird look. She shakes her head, just giving him a smile.

“No… Sorry. What were you saying?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know many of you guys may disagree with what Jessica does for Amber, but I really felt like it would be something she'd do. I don't see her just letting Amber sort it herself, not with the threat from Seth, because she doesn't want to feel guilt again, and as much as she may like to deny it, she has a secret soft spot for the difficult woman. ;)
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Please tell me your thoughts! Sorry for the long wait.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin compares life with the Jensen's to life with Amber, makes a mistake that brings a great guilt to him and makes him seek for the person that gives him the most comfort.

** Justin’s POV **

 

The whole feeling to the home was different to what he used to feel back in his mother’s apartment.

Her apartment was always cold. He always needed to wear sweaters, have an extra blanket on his bed before he went to sleep. His mother even kept a blanket on the leather couch to sit down on because the leather would always be so cold. They could barely afford to meet their rent bill every month before their eviction letter came through the door, never mind afford the gas, electric and the heating.

The Jensen house was different to that. Feeling a little cold? Just go and turn the heating up. Want to use the oven to make some food? Off you go. It had a whole different atmosphere to it and one that Justin was still not used to months later.

Sometimes, he still expected to walk out of his bedroom- Yes his bedroom, and see the little brunette woman sat on the couch downstairs, cigarette between her finger tips in her left hand, and bottle of beer in her right. And that’s how Amber would stay until 8am when she had to drag herself off the couch and to the shower- if it was working, and get herself ready to go down to the local grocery store for a long 12-hour shift.

Instead, Justin came downstairs in the morning to find Lainie, Matt and Clay already sat around the breakfast table that was full spread, eggs done in three different ways, toast and cereal of your choice. There was always orange juice, and fresh coffee at the ready. On weekends, even bacon and sausages were added into the mix.

Justin was lucky to get a glass of milk back at Amber’s apartment.

He enjoyed living with the Jensen’s. And he was definitely excited to be adopted by them. But he was not ready to see the look on his mother’s face when it happens.

One thing Justin always hated was being the cause of his mother’s tears. She had one of those cries that really cut through you, and made you feel what she was feeling. He had only ever been the cause of her tears once, and that was the night that she listened to the tapes when they got leaked, and he ended up at her house the next day.

Amber never admitted to him that she had heard what he had done to Hannah, and then to Jessica. But he could tell by the way she looked at him, and then her crying on the phone to Shane that night.

 

His grades had at least improved since living with the Jensen’s. He was a lot more involved in his studies now that he had stopped smoking weed and didn’t drink any alcohol. Clay nearly cried with happiness when he came home with that C in Math. Lainie even let them go out for a family dinner that night to celebrate it.

Perhaps that was one major difference between the two women of his life. Lainie was more involved. She was more bubbly, definitely had more motherly instincts to herself, and generally cared for him. She happily told him when she was proud of him.

Unlike Amber who over her life, before he had been born, had become the shell of a woman that he knew as his mother for almost 17 years of his life.

 

Justin had been through more with Amber though. Not always good things, but still had been through things with her. He still missed their Sunday night ways of sitting on the couch, cold Chinese from the night before, drinking beers and smoking together. It wasn’t the usual way that a mother and son would bond, but it was their way. And he liked it, and missed it.

He hardly remembered half of the boyfriends that she had over the years, but he did remember one from the time he was 10. He remembered Keith like he had just left their home the day before and not 7 years ago.

Keith was nice. Too nice for Amber Foley’s taste. He still drunk and did drugs with her, but he was more of a happy drunk than the likes of Seth. He still remembered that his mother had gotten pregnant with Keith’s baby and how excited the two of them had been when they told him. Justin even helped with picking baby names and trying to guess if it was a boy or a girl.

He always thought it had been a girl.

He didn’t understand until he was older what Keith had done to him, how he would crawl into bed with him at night and touch him in ways his mother told him to never let anyone touch him. He remembered when Amber had found out. She was so angry, took a steak knife and stabbed it right into Keith’s leg when they were sat on the couch together. Keith left, lucky to still have his life, and Amber had an abortion.

They never spoke of Keith again.

 

Of course, him and Amber had their better moments. The moments in between her long list of boyfriends that she would be fairly sober, because she would have no boyfriend to feed her with heroin and all sorts of stuff and didn’t have the money to buy any, so she’d be surviving off of cigarettes, cheap alcohol and weed. Those were the times that Justin was happy to be at home.

They would go out and do stuff. Like go to the movies together, have food in their fridge and in their pantry for the first time in weeks, not have constant arguments that ended in Justin being thrown out for a few nights or even weeks.

But of course, all the good things had to come to an end eventually when another slug looking boyfriend came walking through the apartment door calling his mother “Am”. He always hated when they called her that, and he could tell she hated it too.

 

He had been sitting eating dinner with the Jensen’s, munching down on the burgers that Matt had made up for them all. Clay just had ketchup on his, whereas Justin had his absolutely packed with extra toppings and three different kinds of sauce.

The conversation had been light, just speaking of how school had been and how Lainie’s day at the office with Dennis had been. He was one of the first to finish his food, much like he always is, and stands to clean up.

“Justin sweetheart… You don’t have to do that here. I’ll clean up afterwards.”

He was broken from the almost trance he was in by Lainie’s soft voice, turning to look at her little smile that she was offering to him. He had already washed off his plate and cup, having the dishwasher open and ready to be filled.

“Oh… Sorry it’s a habit. I’m finished anyway.” His cheeks heat in a little blush of embarrassment as he proceeds to finish off, wiping his hands dry on a towel.

He stands there for a moment, waiting on Clay to finish up his food so they could go upstairs together. He was still too nervous to go alone. Still felt out of place.

As they turn towards the door to go upstairs, Clay mumbles a goodnight to his parents, knowing that they wouldn’t be seeing them for the rest of the night anyway.

Justin hadn’t expected it to come out of his mouth. He had been edging towards calling Matt his dad more and more as the time passed by, but he was not anywhere near ready to call Lainie mom. Maybe that’s why it shocked him so bad when the words slipped past his lips without even a thought.

“Goodnight dad, goodnight mom-“

The room goes silent, everyone stops. Justin feels his chest tightening as the face of Amber flashes through his mind. Lainie looked shocked as well, almost a look of sympathy came across her and Matt’s faces.

“Justin-“

He cuts Matt off before he can even finish saying his name. Rushing past Clay who was stood at the bottom of the stairs, Justin runs up them and makes a straight line for his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

 

The guilt was killing him, almost an hour later. He felt like just by calling Lainie that, he had betrayed Amber and he swore he could even hear her cries.

He was sat on his bed now, staring down at his phone that had the only photo of him and Amber that he ever managed to get. They were both happy, grinning at the camera. He noticed now how much he looked like his mother, because he had her smile and her eyes. She was high in the picture, he could tell by her bloodshot eyes at the far away look on her face, but she was there, beside him and smiling.

It made him realise how much he missed the crazy woman. He missed her ranting and raving at him for something that he had done, he missed eating take out food at least 4 times a week and the leftovers and microwave meals the others. He missed carrying her to bed when she passes out on the couch and making sure she was tucked underneath the covers and the room was in complete darkness like she liked it before he left.

It had been two months since he had seen her, since he had last heard from her.

He hoped that she was okay, that she was happy partying it up somewhere and sleeping during the day and partying all night long.

He hoped she didn’t miss him as much as he missed her, because he didn’t want her to feel the sadness that he was feeling right now.

 

No one would ever understand the connection that he and his mother had, apart from Jessica. She had been the only person apart from Bryce to witness it with her own eyes. Perhaps that’s why he found himself climbing up the tree at the side of her house at 2am when he couldn’t sleep that night. Lainie, Matt and Clay had all tried to get him out his room. Had tried to get him to come out and speak to them, but he stayed silent until they eventually gave up and went to bed.

Every light in the Davis house was off. But he knew that Jessica always kept her window slightly open because she got too hot in the night and needed that breeze to be coming in. Reaching over for the window and sliding it up as quietly as he could, Justin begins to climb his way in, making it good and silent right up till the end when his foot gets caught on the window ledge, causing him to stumble into the room and smack right into her desk.

“Fuck!”

The moment from her bed comes fast, shooting up like a rocket and clearly woken from her sleep by him being an idiot and falling his way into her bedroom. Talk about romance.

She flips the light on that rests on her nightstand, rubbing her sleep filled eyes as she gives him a confused look before a glare, followed by a scowl.

“Justin? What are you doing here? In my room. In the middle of the night.”

Giving her a little grin, almost pleading with his eyes for her to not be mad at him, he shuffles towards her window to shut it to how it was before, clasping his hands together as he rocks back and forth on his feet.

“I couldn’t sleep I- I miss my mom and I can’t talk to the Jensen’s about it because then they’ll feel bad or send me to therapy or some shit, and I’m not crazy, Jess. I don’t need therapy. I just miss my absolute bitch of a mother and I don’t understand why but tonight I called Lainie mom without even thinking about it and… I- I feel guilty as shit.”

He finally realises the breath that he had been holding, chewing on his bottom lip as she keeps her eyes focused onto his and thinks for a moment, probably letting his big ramble sink in.

“Come here.”

He almost didn’t hear her correctly. He honestly thought that it was his mind playing tricks on him. There was no way that Jessica was telling him to come closer to her. Absolutely no way. He had dreamed about being that close to her again since the day they ended things.

“Justin, come into bed. You need sleep and… I know that we both sleep better when we’re together. I could use a good night’s sleep without having to sleep on my parent’s floor so come here.”

Her voice was sort of demanding, and Justin instantly shuffles his way over to the bed, slipping his hoodie over his head and kicking his sneakers off to the side. Jessica pulls back the sheets to allow him to get underneath, and he does just that, sliding under and covering himself up.

They lay apart. You could almost fit a whole other person in between their bodies. The tension was thick, Justin laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. He could feel Jessica’s eyes burning into the side of his head.

“Do you want to talk about it? Or just sleep?” She whispers into the now dark bedroom. He felt her shift slightly to try and get comfortable again, taking a deep breath before he answers.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay. Sleep it is.”

The room went back to silence as they lay there. Justin didn’t even want to flinch his finger in case it was too much. It wasn’t until Jessica made the move, coming closer to him and wrapping her arm around his waist, her head resting on his chest, that he managed to relax.

His arm comes around her, pulling her close and tangling their legs together. It felt nice to be close to her like this once again. It felt like it was meant to be.

The sounds of her breathing getting slower, her body snuggling into him, was the thing that causes him to fall into a deep sleep for the first time in nearly a year.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first of many chapters that will be in Justin's POV. There wont be much, but there definitely will be some because I think it's good to also see into his mind as well. It's a bit of a longer chapter, and sort of really emotional with a good end. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!

**Author's Note:**

> My second fanfiction going up on this site, possibly my favourite one to write. This is a rewrite from my fanfic already posted on wattpad, as I will be changing over onto ao3 from now on. Please comment or whatever and let me know what you think because comments really do mean a lot to me. I love hearing feedback!


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